yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
