he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
