We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
