What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you didnt know i had herpes?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
