Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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