Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
