in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Sober January is a disaster.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Randomize
