The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
