I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize
