i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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