is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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