My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Green mimosas i think yes
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
