words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
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