i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
NoShamevember. You game?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
