Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
