like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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