he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
