don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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