So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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