You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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