I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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