i just sent this text using only my big toe
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
