I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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