is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
