trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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