Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
