East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
