Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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