And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
