This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Randomize
