did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
