No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
