That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
