Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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