I cockslap morals
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
