Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
we made out on top of his cat.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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