My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
