I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
farters have to be the big spoon...
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
