Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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