Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
