She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
She even gives head with a lisp.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
