Apparently you make a good broom.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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