last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
3 2 1 whiskey
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
