I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
