I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I think I died a long time ago.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I want to fling myself into the sun
did i just pee glitter
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
