and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
