It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
