TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize