like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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