Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
