Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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