she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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