Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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