I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
