And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
