butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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