Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just found puke in my bra..
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
