So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
