i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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