dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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